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MindI thought life was getting better
Apparently I was wrong
Life just gets worse
Even if you thought it wasn't possible
I thought the worst that could happen was you leaving
But it only started with that
My life changed, my mind
My mind told me things..
I found out that my own mind
Is making it hard for me
A part of me that is telling me things
Which make me feel so bad
This part of my mind, my soul
I try to control it
But the same mind helps me too
And here I am
Still fighting with this part of me
Making this poem
To control my mind
IsolatedI put my music on
Waiting for some inspiration to come
Waiting until I can finish a poem again
Because these unfinished poems give nothing
The rain outside helps
There is a storm upcoming
I love storm
But they make me feel isolated
Isolated from the rest of the world
Warm inside the house
Alone and lonely
It is so strange
That the human mind is so strong
You yourself can change your life
Just by controlling your feelings and mind
This poem looks like nothing..
Just some random words trying to tell a story
Lets just hope
That my mind is telling that to me
Rules of EmotionEmotions form the individual
But emotions can also break you
They can manipulate your mind
Although you know it's you
Anger gives relief
But it's the source of pure hate
Hate not only for others
But for yourself too
Thankfully not every emotion is bad
Happiness can make it better
It Creates love, confidence and friendship
But this can lead to guilt and regret
The hard part is to control everything
Not every emotion works the same
Every single one has his own rules
The rules I've been trying to find out
ContactI wish to break all contact
Not only with her,
But with all my friends too
Only this seems very difficult
I feel so much anger inside me
It started some weeks ago
I have no clue where it came from
And don't know how to get rid of it
But because of all this anger
I'm in need of a hug
Break all contact
Instead of one
One person is all I need
Someone who I can trust
Someone who I can love
Someone who actually cares
TurnLost it all,
No target in life
No purpose in this world
I thought I could trust people
But my thoughts were wrong
When you need people,
They don't have any time for you
Now I'm left with nothing
I need somebody to turn to
But there isn't anyone for me
My last hope fades away
Alone in this world
And in need of somebody who cares
Am I dead yet?
Or doomed to be alone?
See it through your own eyes
Imagine yourself depressed
And when your last hopes fades away
To who will you turn?
Things To SayThere are lots of things I wish I had said,
Lots of things I want to remember
How I know you
How I scared you
How I hated you
How I loved you
I knew you as a perfect person
Well, you were perfect for me
Someone to fill the missing pieces
of my life
I scared you in many ways
Faking my own death
Or almost die in a car accident
But you were always with me
I Hated you some times
Just the way you looked at me
Already said what you were thinking
Already said that I had to leave
I loved you more then anything in the world
And I thought you were thinking the same
I thought my love couldn't be denied
But you succeeded
BetrayalAnother night with my girl
Having fun as always
Until she said
She kissed my best friend last night
And she just stared
As I turned my back on her
Shouting I don't want to see her anymore
But knowing that I would end up hurting myself
While walking away,
I gave her one last look
She was crying
I stopped walking
And turned around, just looking at her
Those eyes said only one thing
It wasn't guilt
It wasn't her fault
when I asked her if she was forced to
My best friend is to blame
I walk to my girl
With a bad feeling in my stomach
Because I was betrayed by my own friend
Here I am
At the beach
Watching the sea
Which is very wild today
It's cold and
But something is keeping me here and
It's kinda hard to believe
I am thinking of you,
Can't get you out of my head
I can't live with the fact
That you are so far away
I'm staying here
Because I know
That at the other end of the ocean
You are watching too
7 Sins ContestI'm sitting in the park again
Leaning with my back against a tree
Waiting for them to pass by
I know they will,
Because I heard them saying it
Ah there they are,
They look so happy together,
Why am I not that man walking besides her?
Why do I need to watch them?
Why am I in so much pain because of her?
Yes, I used to be with her
I used to be happy
It felt so good when I was with her
There was nothing that could stop me
Except for her
I miss that feeling
Why can't I go back in time
There are so many things I did wrong
So many things I could do better
I want her in my arms again
I have been so stupid
Cancelling our dates
Because I needed to travel so far
So many opportunities wasted
Because I was too lazy
I want her back
She was meant for me
We completed each other
She was happy with me
Not as happy as with him
In my opinion
He may die in a terrible accident
Face a terrible future
Because he made her change her mind
And I ended up here writing, sinning
GlacialMy hands are cold,
for I have not felt
your flame upon
my frozen skin
for an eternity.
It is getting
to the point
where I can
see my breath
dwells within me.
It is the dead of winter,
and I wish for your sun
to melt my frozen heart.
January 10th, 2010
Death of BeautyLook upon a feather,
Its Sapphire Emerald Glow,
On its tip, the eye of an ancient,
Who walked Earth long ago.
It rises to the skies,
caught by gentle breeze,
Against the backdrop sun,
Its silhouette we see.
It glints within the golden light,
In a gust it wheels,
The background whistling of the wind,
A chorus empyreal.
As it drifts back down to Earth,
And we admire its golden-greens,
We watch with awe and wonder,
But its past remains unseen.
Look now to its mother bird,
Gaze upon its wings,
Its broken, naked, bony form,
And listen as it sings.
It cries out now in anguish,
The sky no more it masters,
Listen and you'll hear the wind
Answer back with laughter.
Sanguine sky of setting sun,
Plunging into dark,
Fallen bird draws its last breath,
Laments about its past.
The feather touches ground once more,
Reflecting Crimson skies,
It lays its head upon its mother,
And that's how beauty dies.
Tiny Folk Tiny Folk
Hidden in the shadows,
shrouded in their doubts,
The Tiny Folk are waiting,
quiet as a mouse.
You whisper words of hating,
in their ear it flows.
The Tiny Folk are waiting,
be careful or you'll choke.
Out they come at night-time,
giggle as they go.
The Tiny Folk are hunting,
steady as they go.
To your bed they scamper,
whisper in your ear,
The words of hate they heard you,
murmur with them near.
Pointy teeth and glowing eyes,
flashing in the dark.
The Tiny Folk have hurt you,
be careful or you'll die.
The Tiny Folk are laughing,
back to bed they go.
Until another night-time,
steady as they go.
Flightless Night Flightless Night
A single moth out at night,
desperately trying to take flight.
Up and up its dreams soar,
but grounded does it remain forever more.
The more it yearns to take flight,
to soar its way into the night,
the more it's pulled down and down,
where devils reign and earth rebounds.
The firey pits of hell aglow,
reflect the need to go,
up, up, up away into the night!
To feel no fright and soar among the stars so bright.
A single moth out at night,
with broken wings no good for flight,
down and down its dreams are dragged,
to a world where devils reign,
and hope only brings more pain.
Blissful spiteBliss is ignorance.
Ignorance saved me before.
To ignore is to forget.
I can ignore you no more.
I feel no pain,
My soul created to feel the strain.
I hold the tears tied with fear,
just know if you cry i'll be near.
Black and white,
My choice of spite.
To see color you need light,
Why is your light so very bright?
All I Ever WantedAll I ever wanted
Was to be here with you.
Your hand in mine
As we jump, free falling.
All I want is to jump off
Screaming in your arms
With the excitement and thrill.
Kissing you with our love
At the rush of dying.
But also because I want to.
All I ever wanted
Was to see you smile
As I made myself the fool for you.
All I want is to joke around
And smile and laugh.
To see your face break apart
And turn into something precious.
Holding my heart bear as a joke
Because you're not the type to take me seriously.
All I want is your smile.
Because I love you.
All I ever wanted
Was to run around, holding your hand.
Taking you to every place I can think of
That'll remind you sometimes of me.
To giggle and grin
When you ask your questions.
All I want is for you to follow for a little bit
And join me in the freefall.
Even if it's for awhile.
Even if it's only a rush for you.
Even if it's cause I'm selfish.
Baby, I love you
And all I ever wanted was to see you smile.
All I ever wanted was for you
Little DropLittle drop of misery
Falling tardily down my cheek
Bringer of a twisted memory
Bearer of everything bleak.
Little drop of anger
Exploding out of my pore
The painful burning passenger
Ending up crashing on the floor.
Little leak from my poor soul
drop by drop disappearing
Heart crushing, burned out cold
Massively hope consuming.
Little mind twisting drop
I have feared you all my life
Dreaded to let you pop
out of eye, a violent strife.
I'm resolute now to embrace you
Bless my life with this tear
Let the emotions pull through
For I now have none I fear.
TonightI follow the home underneath the stars tonight
the stars which show me lie in your eye and I
want to lie next to you
lie in your head, bath in your hair tonight
and carry away your eerie last goodbye
this evening breeze, all around us tonight
streams with my memories, now you and I
we merge right here, right now
turn to dust and fossilize tonight
never come back to life
bodies stiffened like trees by the lake tonight
feel the rising freeze in your breath now, but I
I won't try to survive
that light in your mind is on your side tonight
only if you will keep on shining bright
and I know I will lose my poor trust tonight
thanks to you, you used to keep me alive, but I
don't need to see you anymore
cause you finally fell in his dreadful trap tonight
just to be my only bride of the night
the queen of my dreams tonight
DifferentPeople keep disappointing me
One by one, every single day
Giving me the chance to make up my mind
To see the truth in things and stop dreaming life
Seeing how things go wrong,
But not being able to change it
Make my mind the strongest feature of me
Use it, every minute, every second
See how things could be, how they should be
But pay a price for it
Maybe I was meant to realize this
Maybe it's a gift that's been given to me
Or perhaps I was made this way
It isn't I who is different than the rest
It's the rest, that's different than me
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^Nyx-Valentine arrived in our community and started whipping everyone into a frenzy with her relentless desire to bring the Artistic Nude and Fetish galleries to the fore. 9 years later, and it's safe to say that Nyx is not only a leader as a photographer in these galleries, but she has also established herself as a much saught after model. ^... Read More